I’ve sat still for so long AFRAID of stepping out of my comfort zone. The fear of not trying the things i want because of what i believed would happen. “There is no way i am doing that. It will never work and besides people will look at me crazy.” Keeping myself locked up in this box of how i think others would accept me. Afraid to try something different because I may FAIL. Afraid of failure and wanting validation is what it all came down to.

Perfect example: I have been following my Mentor Mia Ray for about three years on social media. I always admired her drive, confidence, and ability to go for what she wants no matter the outcome. Just sat back and watched as I sat still and did nothing to better myself. Thinking it was impossible for me to succeed at anything I put my mind to.

Back then,  I never understood why I was this way. Growing up as a adolescences , I lacked encouragement, ambition and motivation. I rarely tried to the best of my ability and did the bare minimum. Always doing the “shortcut” version completing homework and projects because going into it, my expectations were LOW. I will say the people around me could have done a better job providing with the tools to believe in myself more. I never had a problem voicing who to blame for along time and STILL using that as a excuse as to why I felt stuck where I was as I grew into adulthood.

It’s much easier to blame others for why we are where we are in our lives. Our parents, our workplace, our peers, you name it, we blame it. For whatever reason, we will hold on to all the wrong that was done to us. The ultimate every day battle I have is with MYSELF and letting go of the hurt others did to me . My self confidence and worth was damaged. I want to be who God is bringing me into BUT those old ways tend to show its ugly face. I couldn’t let go of what “everybody” else did and ignored what I could do to change my situation.

The battle became harder when I DECIDED I no long wanted to continue to blame others for where my life was and make the changes necessary to start living life abundantly. I knew it wouldn’t be a easy process being a creature of habit but I was FINALLY ready to try.

I was finally ready to live a happy life.

The more I seeked God and the relationship I DESPERATELY always wanted with him, the more the enemy tried to knock me down. I didn’t stop getting back up and continuing to go to HIM . The more I connected with and became the better version of myself, the worst version tried its hardest to overcome, I didn’t stop pushing and fighting to be my best self. I made the decision to never give up on myself and battle who I once was with who I’m destined to be.

I finally didn’t need validation from anyone but God and myself.

I finally know now that no matter how impossible things may seem, I can do whatever i put my mind to. I may not always succeed but as long as i believe in MYSELF, i will never give up on myself! I am no longer AFRAID and that is what I call true FREEDOM!

 

 

Being a black woman in 2017 is such an empowering and beautiful thing. All the opportunity and “acceptance” to showcase the magic we have to offer the world. I am pro Black. That doesn’t mean I am anti White or anti any other race. That means I am proud of what I am and where I came from.
My ancestors before me have been oppressed for 400+ years. Never allowed to embrace their culture,  skin,  religion,  and beliefs openly. Never being allowed to take what skill God has given them and gain the knowledge to do what they want in life. Their strength to keep pushing against all odds is what inspires me today.

 
Though time have changed,  black people are still oppressed. We are opressed in the workplace,  profiling,  social media, the gifts we have to offer the world are suppressed. Thats just to name a few things. Same shit,  different toliet,  right? The problem is still present and hasn’t gone anywhere. 

I will never understand why repecting and treating a person is based on their skin COLOR. Regardless of that ONE difference, each and every on of us are HUMAN

 
Now comes the “disadvantage” of being both a woman and being BLACK. 
Image those things I listed and times them by 2. Simply by the double jeopardy of being both Black and woman ,  society has problems respecting the humanity of both groups. 

Society is somehow for whatever reason threatened by a strong BLACK woman. 

Society has this idea that all black women are what the media and Hollywood portray. We are bitter. We are angry. We are lazy. We are stupid. Ghetto. Ratchet. Ugly. Not good enough. 

They have no idea the beauty that lies within us. We are strong. We are loving.  We are compassionate.  We are intelligent.  We work our asses off. We have class. We are beautiful. We are enough.  WE ARE MAGIC. 



We may always be looked at as lesser than and may never get the respect we are owed. We have to continue to shed our light and shine bright. Continue to be our best selves. Uplift our fellow sisters and always encourage one another. Always have a shoulder for our sisters and push her to her greatest potential.

 
We have to continue to spread LOVE
The journey has not been and easy one.  It may never be.  But I wont allow society to suppress me from living. Suppress me from being happy and proud of who I am.
I will continue to express my blackness through my hair no matter how “nappy” it is to you. I will continue to feel sexy in my “too dark” skin.  I will continue to stand tall knowing the magic I have to offer. 

Regardless of uncomfortable or upset it may make others around me,  I can’t  be anything other than I am.

 
#blackwoman