Cheers to the New Year!

Cheers to the New Year!

What a refreshing feeling to be able to turn over a new leaf, open a new chapter, and start fresh! Yes, it is finally 2018: the year we all have been waiting for…or maybe not. 

While bringing in a new year can be a clean slate, sometimes hard times or short comings make us dread another year. So many changes and misfortunes happen in 2017, leaving some of us feeling hopeless and even heartless. 

It’s just another year , who cares? What’s really changing except a new day? Whatever.

Yeah, you can look at it in that light but why would you want to? Look, I get it, 2017 sucked and I have a testimony that could have put me on my ass and kept me there. With all of that, I have been giving many lessons in 2017 and I want to share some with you. 

I learned anything is possible with God who is my higher power, faith and hard work. You cannot want something to happen without putting in the work and confirmation with your higher self. Working for it is only half the battle, but always confirm through prayer, meditation, reflection and most importantly FAITH. 

I learned the importance of patience. Wanting something before it is your time will give you results opposite of your expectations. So many time in 2017 I went for something and if I didn’t have a solid plan, the right mindset and patience, it NEVER worked out the way I imagined. Patience you will learn, is a lifelong friend you want in your corner along your journey.

I also learned that words and thoughts are the most powerful things we obtain.The more negative we speak on our lives and others, the more miserable we make ourselves and our surroundings. The more positivity we speak on our live and the lives of others, now that’s where the greatness of “magic” happens. 

Practice positive affirmative actions, catch any negative thought or statement and replace with something positive, and ALWAYS remember the storms you may face will always pass. Trust me on this!

Don’t allow your emotions to take control of your life. This was one of the biggest struggles I had to overcome, and still work hard every day to get better every day. 

The work doesn’t stop…ever! Even when you get it, keep that momentum going baby!

So, even though 2017 wasn’t particularly great, doesn’t mean 2018 will be the same. If you want your life to change, you have to work daily and keep a positive outlook on everything

So CHEERS to 2018, the year of the warrior! 

Where everything we believe in will manifest into things beyond our wildest imagination! Where all our thoughts will become things so keep them in check. To prosperity, blessings, love, success and happiness. And to us taking our lives back !

Happy New Year everyone! Now let us get to work!

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“God has a plan, stay faithful. God has a plan, stay faithful. God has a plan, stay faithful.”

I said to myself repeatedly as I sit in DeKalb Medical hospital bed. Tears pouring down my face as I think of how incredibly blessed I really am. A person who those would label fragile, enduring all that I have would have let 2017 knock them to the floor, defeated.

 

I had hit my lowest point of this temporary battle, asking God why?  I felt like I was taking a blow from left and right. Stumbling and grabbing on to whatever I could to stay on my feet. Then when I thought life was giving me a break, she comes and knocks me down, hard.

 

“Ain’t that a muthafuckin bitch?”

 

Losing my father to prostate cancer was the start of the downhill spiral. My king and lifelong best friend was ripped right out of my life with a blink of an eye. The disease took my father’s life at 55 years old, as he fought the greatest fight. I sat with him on his last days, holding on for my life. I was afraid to leave him, knowing what was soon to come. He couldn’t talk much but his personality and humor never left. One thing I can say I appreciated about him, no matter how frustrated or in pain he might have been in, he didn’t allow that to take away from who he was.  He left this earth July 30th with all his children, his wife and several of nieces and nephews by his side, just as he wanted it to be. He’s left this world complete.

 

That was the start to all hard pills I had handed to me. Two weeks after losing my father, my father in law passed in a terrible accident that pulled my family in the ring with me.  My soon to be Husband lost his best friend all the while trying to help me heal from losing one my own.  I honestly don’t know how I would have done it without him, but it was hard watching him try to hold it all together. He did his absolute best being the provider, protector and comfort I needed at that time, making me fall in love with him all over again. He did everything without having to be asked and showed complete understanding and patience all while dealing with his own shit.

 

“He’s a good man Savannah!”

 

Life goes on like always and we managed to take things day by day.  The universe started to seem like it wanted to cut us a bit of slack. Emotionally, I was still a damn wreck, just looking at my father’s picture or reminiscing broke me down. I started feeling physically frail and drained, more than usual.  I would sleep whenever I can and lost interest in everything. In my mind, I thought I was going through a moment of depression and this too shall pass. Unfortunately, things weren’t getting any better and I started experiencing pain and major selling in my left leg and foot. It was like someone stabbed me in my leg repeatedly, it was unbearable I could barely walk.

I can’t take anymore God PLEASE!” I yelled from my bedroom floor in frustration and excruciating pain.

 

We went to the hospital and I was diagnosed with DVT or in other words Deep Vein Thrombosis.  All we could think at this point is God has something up his sleeve, all this can’t be for nothing, and we refused to believe that. I believe that faith and trusting process and what He has in store kept us together even as we struggled with our own personal battles. I got better and I continue getting better as the day passed. I learned how to be Self-ish, no not selfish, SELF-ISH! 

Putting me first doesn’t mean I don’t put my husband and daughter’s need in consideration. It’s ok to put myself first when it comes to my well-being, its okay to not have the world on my shoulders and to share the load, and it’s OK to let the tears and the screams OUT, cleansing my spirit and my soul of all the poison I carried all my life, past and present.

 

It’s ok to be self-ish; you deserve to be the best version of you.

 

One thing I know for sure, I was not created to be defeated. God left that trait out when he made me. He created a warrior out of this woman and showed me what faith is all about. He told me “Know how important you are and take care of yourself too!”  life will bring you to your knees more than you know, but know God’s plan is much bigger than you struggles, just hold on a little longer.

 

#trusttheprocess

 
I’ve sat still for so long AFRAID of stepping out of my comfort zone. The fear of not trying the things i want because of what i believed would happen. “There is no way i am doing that. It will never work and besides people will look at me crazy.” Keeping myself locked up in this box of how i think others would accept me. Afraid to try something different because I may FAIL. Afraid of failure and wanting validation is what it all came down to.

Perfect example: I have been following my Mentor Mia Ray for about three years on social media. I always admired her drive, confidence, and ability to go for what she wants no matter the outcome. Just sat back and watched as I sat still and did nothing to better myself. Thinking it was impossible for me to succeed at anything I put my mind to.

Back then,  I never understood why I was this way. Growing up as a adolescences , I lacked encouragement, ambition and motivation. I rarely tried to the best of my ability and did the bare minimum. Always doing the “shortcut” version completing homework and projects because going into it, my expectations were LOW. I will say the people around me could have done a better job providing with the tools to believe in myself more. I never had a problem voicing who to blame for along time and STILL using that as a excuse as to why I felt stuck where I was as I grew into adulthood.

It’s much easier to blame others for why we are where we are in our lives. Our parents, our workplace, our peers, you name it, we blame it. For whatever reason, we will hold on to all the wrong that was done to us. The ultimate every day battle I have is with MYSELF and letting go of the hurt others did to me . My self confidence and worth was damaged. I want to be who God is bringing me into BUT those old ways tend to show its ugly face. I couldn’t let go of what “everybody” else did and ignored what I could do to change my situation.

The battle became harder when I DECIDED I no long wanted to continue to blame others for where my life was and make the changes necessary to start living life abundantly. I knew it wouldn’t be a easy process being a creature of habit but I was FINALLY ready to try.

I was finally ready to live a happy life.

The more I seeked God and the relationship I DESPERATELY always wanted with him, the more the enemy tried to knock me down. I didn’t stop getting back up and continuing to go to HIM . The more I connected with and became the better version of myself, the worst version tried its hardest to overcome, I didn’t stop pushing and fighting to be my best self. I made the decision to never give up on myself and battle who I once was with who I’m destined to be.

I finally didn’t need validation from anyone but God and myself.

I finally know now that no matter how impossible things may seem, I can do whatever i put my mind to. I may not always succeed but as long as i believe in MYSELF, i will never give up on myself! I am no longer AFRAID and that is what I call true FREEDOM!

 

 

The older I get, the more comfortable I have BECOME with expressing myself.  Of course,  I’ve learned along the way there are a number of ways you can. I tended to choose the wrong way when I was younger and found it never worked out the way I thought it should.


 Mostly negative,  overly dramatic and what many would call “doing TOO much”. 


It was hard for me to see things from the inside looking out.

You are either oblivious to whats going on or you choose not to open you mind, your heart and to close you mouth long enough to realize it.

Whatever it was for me,  I had fallen tired of the way I felt after a situation’s aftermath when I would act out.

What is the point,  where did you think this go with how you chose to handle things?



There was no point and I always felt childish and unhappy EVERY SINGLE TIME. I just wanted my way,  point blank. I also took me to be blessed to be able to bring another life into this world. That was where I learned the true meaning of selflessness,  unconditional love and that it definitely wasn’t all about me. 
I had to learn to build a bridge and get the hell over it. Took a lot of praying, trusting, crying, falling and letting go to finally learn how to handle things and handle it in a positive manner.

How I can express myself without getting defensive and still get my point across.  How people understand me better when I sit and think before I speak. I have come a LONG way but there is still many things for me learn. I have some chapers on my story to tell but its far from complete. Excited for all that is to come.